"The hug therapy book ” -(讓我擁抱你) -3/26(Sat.

[Mandychang]

Hello, everyone. I am Mandy and will be host on this Saturday.

In a book "The hug therapy book ” -(讓我擁抱你)by Kathleen Keating, she told us “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” yeah! Hug may sound like the simplest thing on earth. For a friendly, warm, affectionate and demonstrative person, hugging is simply a natural expression of showing that he or she love and care.

http://www.bykathleenkeating.com/work1.htm

I wrote the Hug Therapy Book, a parody on therapy, because I wanted to share a serious message about the power of touch in a playful way. However, I don’t want people to take touching and hugging for granted as just a ‘nice’ gesture or judge it as gimmicky or sentimental.
Hugging is an intimate form of touch. We are suffering in our society from a sad condition best described as touch deprivation, skin hunger and hug inhibition. We need to recognize that every human being has a profound physical and emotional need for touch - men and women and children. And even our animal companions!
We are alone in our separate bodies, yet to live we must connect with each other in order to belong and get our needs met. Touch is the primary way we contact and connect with each other. Touch is the experience of how I meet you and and you meet me and we meet the world. We touch the world, and the world touches us. Touch is a contact function. We meet the world outside of ourselves, outside the boundary of our skin, we make contact with the boundary of our skin. Our skin is the antennae that feels, touches, contacts the world. With touch, we meet the world outside of ourselves in a vibrant, alive, nourishing way. With touch we meet, connect, bond, belong.
Machines are important - the computer is an amazing tool! But we are losing the something grand and mysterious that makes us compassionate - and passionate human creatures. We are so much more profoundly complex than machines, it is ludicrous to make a comparison, as we often do, when we use machine metaphors. Like machines we have skills - but we must not imitate machines. It is essential to stay connected to the “divine animal” in each other. Touch is our primary connection. With touch we are restoring the balance in those human qualities that are far more powerful than ‘machine’ skills.
We are all committed to a better understanding of love...and it is one of the greatest tragedies of our day that our culture often equates tenderness with weakness and love with sentimentality. Even hugs and huggers are frequently considered just sentimental.
There is something godlike everyone of us possesses in our arms, hands, fingers. This is the power to make someone feel cherished....the power to give (and receive at the very same time!) kindness, warmth, tenderness, support, healing, security - and most of all belonging. All add up to the profoundness of love....all human qualities that humans can give - and give with a simple touch - a simple hug.

http://www.survivingburns.org/HugTherapy1.html

Hug therapy and burn survivors
The theory is that touch is not only nice. It's needed! Scientific research supports the theory that stimulation by touch is absolutely necessary for our physical as well as our emotional well-being.
Therapeutic touch, recognized as an essential tool for healing, is now part of nurses' training in several large medical centers. Touch is used to help relieve pain and depression and anxiety, to bolster a patient's will to live, and to help premature babies who have been deprived of touch in their incubator to grow and thrive.
Results of Scientific Experiments
Various experiments have shown that touch can:
• make us feel better about ourselves and our surroundings
• have a positive effect in a child's development and IQ
• cause measurable physiological changes in the touchers and the touched
We are just beginning to understand the power of touch. While there are many forms of touching, we propose that hugging is a very special therapeutic touch that contributes in a major way to healing and health.
The Power of Hugging
Hugging accomplishes many things that you may never have thought of. It ...
• feels good
• dispels loneliness
• overcomes fear
• opens doors to feelings
• builds self-esteem (WOW, SHE actually wants to hug me!)
• fosters altruism (I can't believe it but I actually want to hug that old son-of-a-gun)
• slows down aging (huggers stay young longer)
• helps curb appetite (we eat less when we are nourished by hugs and when our arms are busy wrapped around others)
More Good Things from Hugging
• eases tension
• fights insomnia
• keeps arms and shoulder muscles in condition
• provides stretching exercise if you are short
• provides stooping exercise if you are tall
• offers a wholesome alternative to promiscuity
• offers a healthy, safe alternative to alcohol and other drug abuse (better hugs than drugs!)
• affirms physical being
• is democratic (anyone is eligible for a hug)
Even More Benefits from Hugging
• is ecologically sound (it does not upset the environment)
• is energy-efficient (saves heat)
• is portable
• requires no special equipment
• demands no special setting (a fine place for a hug is any place from a doorstep to an executive conference room ... from a church parlor to a football field)
• makes happy days happier
• imparts feelings of belonging
• fills up empty places in our lives
• keeps on working to dispense benefits even after the hug is released

Session 1
1. Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable while being hugged, how about you? When you have the need to be hugged, will you ask for one and how?

2. When was the last time you gave a hug to other people? Did you hug intimate people very often? For example like your family, your spouse, your friends. Besides, what kind of situation will you like to give someone a hug?

3. It's a stereotype that men are less demonstrative than women in their love and affection. But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties. Do you agree? If it’s not, what’s your opinion?

Session 2
Play game for hugging!


給新朋友的話：

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[Mandychang]

Vocabulary

parody 諷刺性模仿詩文
gesture姿勢
gimmicky耍花招的
sentimental多情的
deprivation剝奪
profound深深的
companions友誼
antennae觸角
vibrant明亮的
nourishing滋養的
mysterious神祕的
compassionate有同情心的
ludicrous荒唐可笑的
comparison比較
metaphors隱喻
tenderness溫和
possess 佔有
cherished愛護
therapeutic治療的
bolster支撐
incubator早產兒保育器
dispels消除
altruism利他主義
insomnia不眠症
stooping彎曲的
promiscuity混亂
affirms申明
imparts給予
dispense施給

[Wayne]

昨天恰好在誠品看到這本書，還有續集呢！

書中提到各種抱法：
BEAR HUG
A-FRAME HUG
SANDWICH HUG
GRABBER-SQUEEZER HUG
GROUP HUG
SIDE-TO-SIDE HUG
BACK-TO-FRONT HUG
HEART-CENTERED HUG
CUSTOM-TAILORED HUG

Get yourselves ready for the hugging game!

[Mandychang]

謝謝Wayne 總是將一些好的資料分享給大家。
某天我也是在誠品敦南店看到這兩本書《讓我擁抱你》(The Hug Therapy Book Of Hugs)、《請擁抱我》(Hug Therapy 2 – The Wonderful Language),我選它們的時候是因為封面上兩隻肥肥的大熊, 緊緊地相擁著，給人一種溫柔的感覺 。不過身在傳統家庭的我看到這樣的一本書，還真是嚇了一大跳。即使在一般西方人見面禮儀上的擁抱，為肩碰肩，在台灣還是很少看到的。我想可能台灣天氣太熱了，大家希望的還是保持距離，以免交換身上的淋漓臭汗， 也許這是東西方對於”擁抱”有著顕著不同的文化差異吧。（因此，我特別喜歡冷冷的地方以及冷冷的季節。）也許很多人跟我想法一樣，就是無法像他人如此熱情與大方張開雙臂擁抱對方，熟人還好，要是僅為普通朋友，這麼個緊緊一抱，會讓人很沒安全感。後來漸漸長大，對於西方文化接觸的機會越來越多，漸漸有那麼些許的接受西方人見面禮儀上的擁抱。在書中裡面將擁抱略分為幾種姿勢，而每種姿勢又有不同的功能，比方說：安慰、支持、關心等等～～。同時，作者希望把「擁抱」以正面的信息，說明擁抱所帶來的好處，把關心、愛、快樂等情感的美妙訊息傳給對方。在星期六，yoyo們帶著你的熱情來參加Meeting！

[Mandychang]

Here are some main types of hugs：

ANKLE HUG ：Given by small children. Hug can be reciprocated (see Bear Hug)

BACK-TO-FRONT ：Also called waist grabber. Given to someone doing household chores.

BEAR HUG： Powerful and secure. But use caution to avoid breathlessness.

CHEEK HUG： Tender and tasteful, suitable for tea parties.

CUSTOM TAILORED： Can involve creative positioning, or the addition of a favorite toy or pet.

FOREHEAD HUG： Put hands on the other's shoulders or sides, and foreheads pressed together.

GRABBER SQUEEZER HUG： Playful, affectionate and brief. Useful for those on a tight schedule.

GROUP HUG： Works well for team sports

GUESS WHO HUG： Performed from behind, hands over huggee's eyes. Suitable for longtime friends

HEART CENTERED： Each hugger has one hand around waist, one around neck. The highest form of hugging.

SANDWICH HUG： A three way hug, suitable for small families

SIDE TO SIDE HUG： Useful for strolling or standing in line.

TOP OF THE HEAD HUG： Offered to seated huggee by standing hugger. A gift of power to someone feeling depressed.